2012-2014 were easily the hardest years of my life by far. Every single day I struggled with my faith. Why couldn't I have been born into a different family, why couldn't I have been born someone else...why did I have to be ME?! Why did I have to be the girl born into a broken family, why did my mother pass away and my father leave? Was I not good enough for a family, had I done something wrong? Why did I have to battle brain tumors, thyroid diseases and deteriorating eye sight? These are questions I asked myself EVERY single day. I often wondered if there would ever be a place that I could REALLY call home and mean it, if there was ever going to be a place I felt safe, where I didn't have to pretend to be something I wasn't or constantly look over my shoulder out of fear that someone was going to hurt me.
Camp Elevate was introduced to me at church, I thought it was the lamest thing I had ever heard to be honest. I had absolutely no interest in going...but what choice did I have? I was headed down a path for destruction very, very quickly and I knew it. I was fearful of who I was becoming and where I would end up. So I went, over and over again for 4 years. Every year it was absolutely amazing. I experienced God's love, mercy, and forgiveness over and over again. I made promises to God that I didn't keep. I told him I would go back off the mountain top and never do the things I had done again. I wore up and down I had changed, but I hadn't.
Camp Elevate 2015 was different though. I went with a brokenness inside of me that I knew no one and nothing could fill. I went hopeless. I went thinking it would be the same as every other year, but it wasn't. God revealed himself to me like never before at Camp Elevate 2015 The Crossover. He softened my heart, he gave me eyes to see and ears to hear, he gave my a heart after his own. He showed me purpose in the pain, he gave me beauty for ashes. He showed me who I am and that no matter how unworthy I may feel, I am worthy because I AM HIS. He showed me that the earthly love and affection I was longing was nothing in comparison to the way he loved me. He opened my eyes, and we crossed over. Yes, we. Hand in hand Jesus and I crossed over. He took me into a new season, he gave me a divine revelation. He showed me the reason I'm alive and he can do the same for anyone. His promises are yes and amen and if you do so much as to ask he DOES hear you. He loves you. I am forever grateful to Camp Elevate for ALL it has done for me. I am forever changed.